November 2019. To my precious, esteemed and most patient readers, I apologize for my fucking tardiness in posting! Since my last post (The Roofer), I’ve become involved in a relationship. A fucking relationship. We are currently in the “can’t get enough of each other” stage of dating, where we are utterly consumed and excited. I’ve […]
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Fuck Online Dating…
April 2016. I was shaking off the after effects of The Roofer. I was exhausted and drained. I had spent the last two years dating non-stop in search of “The One”. Everyone mourns the death of a relationship differently: -Some turn to friends and family for support -Others go on the rebound -Some take the […]
The Roofer
November 2015. We met on OK Cupid. This was the one that broke me. He brought out the worst in me and it wasn’t a pretty sight; but it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I allowed him to be a part of my life. It was like I took all my “lessons learned” and […]
The Interior Designer
November 2015. Christmas was in the air and I was still on the hunt for a man. Swiping and reading profiles became an obsessive hobby of mine. Again, here was a man I met on Match. He was Italian, clean cut, he looked like he was in good shape and he had a nice smile. […]
The Wigger…
October 2015. We met on Tinder. He was cute. Almost immediately after we “swiped” each other, he reached out first. Shortly after, he started phoning me. Call me old school, call me traditional, I don’t give a fuck, I like a phone call. I learned that he was my age, owned a condo in Scarborough, […]
The Wedding Emcee…
August 2015. My cousin Cheese was getting married. A block of hotel rooms was reserved at a discounted rate and I was in search of a roommate. Queen B was already sharing a room with Chelle and Vic was out of town that weekend. Everyone else was paired up. About week before the wedding there […]
The Wrestler…
August 2015. Cake. That was the name of the club. My cousin, Ming, was turning 19 and I agreed to be the designated driver. She got bottle service, so we had our own table. I spent most of the night at the table while the “youngins” took to the dance floor. The crowd was 19-23 […]
OPP…
May 2015. He reached out to me first on Match. I checked his profile and nothing stood out as super unique or spectacular; but on the surface, things seemed “normal” (although they all appear fucking normal until you start peeling back the layers). About two weeks after emailing back and forth, we decided to meet […]
Woodcock…
February 2015. After the Brick, I immediately became engrossed in my online apps. The sooner I found someone, the better. I threw out all of my standards out the window (if I even had any at this vulnerable and desperate time) in exchange for immediate appeasement. We met on Match. His profile read like the […]
The Brick…
September 2014. I was excited. It was fall; I had spent most of the summer in California and Greece; I had bought my first brand new car; I had shaken off the negative “mansperiences” thus far; and I was starting a new full-time job (thank the fucking lord. I had been working two part time […]